He can't heal what you won't reveal or cleanse what you won't confess.
Think about it.

Repeating wrong behaviors guarantees continued failure.




These lyrics and this song have been on my heart a lot lately...
It amazes me how true and honest Andy Hull is about his journey and struggles with his faith in God and beliefs! He writes it and sings it so well IN ALL of his music!

Manchester Orchestra... The River... :)

I will fight the spirit

With a sword in my side

She found a way out

Crack my rib

Wait to die

I think I know YOU best when I sleep

I think I know everything

Me and my brothers

We have tongues sharp as knives

I found a way out

Make a noise, close your eyes

I think I talk to YOU best when I sing

I sing about almost everything

Oh GOD I need it

So let me see AGAIN

Take me to the river
And let me see AGAIN

Oh my GOD

Let me see AGAIN

Oh my GOD

Let me see AGAIN

Let me see AGAIN

Grace taught her daughter

Daily on

GOD how I feel it

Fed her pride to YOUR feet

I'm gonna leave YOU the first chance I get

Oh GOD I am sorry

Well I was wrong again

Take me to the river

And make me SING AGAIN

Oh my GOD

Make me clean AGAIN

And oh my GOD

Let me see AGAIN

This song is me. This song explains my journey so well. It's how much I ask and scream and cry out to GOD and tell him to please help me please LOVE me please show me YOUR way...

The verse, "I'm gonna leave YOU the first chance I get" REALLY speaks to me... I feel like so many times GOD is working wonders in my life and I do just this thing... Leave him the first chance I get... I cry everytime I hear that verse... Its so moving... 

Listen to this song! Its amazing! I cry EVERYTIME I watch it. He speaks to me in so many ways through this song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY4-NawPgbs

 

 

Last night I talked to a realllllly really GOOD old friend. Its been quite a few years and it was over faacebook IM but he told me so much of what I really needed to HEAR!... Here is what the Spirit was wanting him to share with me.

 

-“Therefore, behold, I will hedge up your way with thorns, And wall her in, So that she cannot find her paths. She will chase her lovers, But not overtake them; Yes, she will seek them, but not find them.
(Hosea 2:6–7)

-I just felt the Lord saying He's been hedging ME in. You have sought other lovers and He's been after you and now He's calling you to return to His with everything. I fell like the pain you're feeling He wants to take and show you He's so committed to you but He wants to show you the fire in His eyes! He wants to show you He's jealous for your heart to be fully given to Him.

-He said I just feel like the Lord in His love and mercy is saying, "I have seen you. You have known. I still want you. I just want it all now. Just give into me and I'll talk care of you." I just feel like He's after it all. I hope this is encouraging. I just feel the Lord strong right now and I feel His heart strong for you. He's so for you. He just wants the other lovers to go and it's for your good He has been hedging you in to where you would say I have to go back to Him. It's been horrible. But it's really His mercy to bring you to that place of full devotion.

 

(...I hope this is all making sense. I just feel the Holy Spirit right now so I'm just stepping out.) Ryan.

THAT MADE MY NIGHT!
:)
Thanks Ryan... Your a special dude and I love you!
Even though I can only remember you as 16 forever and ALWAYS





-----
It amazes me how someone could share so much about me to me through GOD. Mmm beauty!
SO much BEAUTY!

::Giving way to that familiar ill::

All the days become a cast away, I seem to think I don't belong here...

Do you remember how you wore that dress?


It slit my sight beneath the eyelids

Do you remember what you said to me?

What course has given you the right to stray?

And in your living tomb I'm stuck not safe

The clocks are ticking fast with every breath



Since we've been wrong

I've been part awake

Since we've been wrong

you will never, ever know me

What took you so long?

I'm not sure all the way

But my heart, it asks just one more time

Are you still a mess?



One day a rain will come and wash away

The earth that held us was no island

I have become ingrown inside this skin

I'll find a way out through those eyelids



All the days become a cast away

I seem to think I don't belong here



Since we've been wrong

I've been part awake

Since we've been wrong

you will never, ever know me

What took you so long?

I'm not sure all the way

But my heart, it asks just one more time

Are you still a mess?



I don't belong here

I shouldn't stay

What falls inside me grows empty

The walls between us will never break

Just seal it shut

It grows empty



Since we've been wrong

I've been part awake

Since we've been wrong

You will never, ever know me

What took you so long?

I'm not sure all the way

But my heart it asks just one more time

Are you still a mess?

::Giving way to that familiar ill::

What is going on in my little head? No not surgery or brain crap. I am talking thoughts!!!

So I have been researching some things that I feel like aren't really talked about in Church or in group settings... Things that I have always wondered, worried and asked myself and close friends but have never really gotten a "good" answer.
So this is why I am going deep into a search to find out these answers to all my questions I have been hanging onto.

And here is one... that turns into a few. WHAT WILL PEOPLE BE LIKE IN HEAVEN? AND HOW WILL WE KNOW EACHOTER? HOW WILL I KNOW WHO MY HUSBAND IS? MY MOM? MY SISTER?
And here is what I got... And it honestly scares the crap right out of me...

Jesus was asked a complicated question about heaven by the Sadducees (a religious sect that did not believe in the resurrection of the dead) that directly leads us to this conclusion. The Sadducees gave a scenario of a woman who married 7 men (sequentially, since they all died prematurely) in her lifetime. They asked whose wife she would be in heaven. Jesus answered:


"You are mistaken, not understanding the Scriptures, or the power of God. "For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. (Matthew 22:29-30)

In other words, there will be no marriage or sexual differences among those in heaven, since reproduction is unnecessary. This concept is supported by other biblical verses that indicate that males and females are spiritually equal. The same concept applies to the races. I doubt that there will be racial differences in heaven.

The idea that we will no longer be married is disturbing to some people. From an earthly perspective, the dissolution of marriage in heaven doesn't sound like a good thing. However, in heaven, we will be "married" to Jesus, who will be our spiritual "husband." If you are not currently a follower of Jesus Christ, you cannot understand what this will be like, and it will probably not have any appeal for you. However, if you have experienced the "highs" of following Jesus as He leads you, you will have a glimpse of how awesome this experience will be. God would not take away something good if He did not replace it with something better.

Besides receiving a new body, those who enter heaven will be given a new name and will be incapable of committing sin. Therefore, all the problems we have by being mean to each other will be gone. We will be able to enjoy each other's company without the fear of being hurt by anyone. It will be great to be physically and morally perfect and to have fellowship with others who have been likewise transformed.


THOGHTS?!?!




::Giving way to that familiar ill::